DAY 35 - I Post Therefore I Am

Nothing to report.

But report I do.

DAY 34 - The Quicker Picker-Upper

Did some writing today.

Did some anxiety.

Did some fear.

Did some confusion.

Did some hope.

DAY 33 - I Think I've Decided to Decide

I think I will be changing my goal for the Challenge to be the first half of my play.
Even that will be difficult to reach.
I'm actually very happy with what I've written so far and think it's been helpful having time to mull things over in my mind.

I'm going to LA for the holidays, leaving on December 16th.
I'm thinking there will be plenty of time to give myself another 45 Day Challenge for the second half of the play and still be done before I leave. I'll have three weeks in LA to peruse the entire first draft and make notes toward the second draft. I think that's more doable for me.

Am I copping out or just being kinder to myself???

The jury is out...

DAY 32 - Stuck in the Muck of Marvelous Yet-To-Be's

Been stuck on how to handle the next section of storytelling. Waiting for a brilliant solution to appear.
May just have to skip that section though I'm concerned how it will later affect everything after it.

Hmm...

DAY 31 - Under the Weather, Under the Gun

Wasn't feeling well today.

Took it easy.

Did a small bit of writing. Enough to know I'm adding a musical montage which will mean more songs and trying to figure out how to portray someone's descent into drug addiction during revolving musical numbers on a stage. (In film, it would be so much easier!).
Oh, well...

My brilliance is about to astound me with its solution!

First draft nearly complete

OK, the first draft of the screenplay is nearly complete.

At the moment, though, it's going to be something like a 35 page screenplay rather than a 90 page one as I'd intended. So I have to fill it with more stuff in order for it to work as a full length feature.

But it does have a beginning, a middle and an end, which is the most important thing.

Next objective: put an extra 60 pages or so into it, to complete the task. Then it will be the official first draft.

After that, it's a matter of making changes for the second draft. But that's another thing entirely.

.................................

Tonight is the screening of my 24 hour film race entry. Not overly keen on it, as it's not really what I'd intended at all. It's a kinda silent movie-ish thing; it doesn't have music, and it wasn't really finished. I wish I'd just written a script now instead of grabbing three hours sleep. Maybe it would have turned out a lot better.

But you live and learn. Now I just have to face the embarrassment of getting egg on my face in front of an audience. I wonder how long it'll take my hurt inner, perfectionistic artist to recover from that...

DAY 30 - Hooray! Hooray! We are Creative! We are Artists! We are Sprouting the Seeds of the Divine!

OK. It's Day 30. 1/3 of the Challenge to go. (Thanks, Jack...I was about to write how much of the glass was empty rather than full.) 1/3 of the Challenge to go. Hooray!

We have time to play, explore and experience miracles!

I have a goal. A goal that will lead to my next goal. A string of goals that will lead to my dream/s.

DAY 29 - The Postess With The Mostess

Posting today because I committed to posting daily.

Did a tiny bit of research for my next project. Wrote one or two lines in current script.

I feel in a lull. Like I'm on vacation from writing. Not the best time for a writing vacation.

DAY 28 - Dog of a Day

No writing today.

Did "baby"sit a neighbor's dog today as an artist's date. Although I think it turned out more stressful than nourishing.

Good AW meeting tonight, though the energy seemed a bit off.

Coming up on the 2/3's point of Challenge. (Day 30)

DAY 27 - A Day In The Life

I wrote another page today.

I did a little more research on my next project.

I accept, I celebrate, I go on.

24 hour film race

Well I did the film race. Amazing what can be achieved in 24 hours! I do realise how much time is frittered away when we're not motivated and focussed, which is most of the time. It's not a great short film by any means, but if we'd had days rather than hours it would be.

I realise from doing this little project: producing a short - advertising for actors, looking at resumes, getting cast and crew, shooting and editing the thing, that I can do it with a bigger project. I realise, too, that I can make it a better project, and as I get better I'll attract more people, better people, as well as a better audience.

The project is so what The Artist's Way is about: just doing stuff, and learning by mistakes and growing from them, enjoying the process as you go along.

DAY 26 - I Writ What I Wrote

Wrote a page of script today and did a little research.

I guess I need to celebrate that one page.

I see much hurried typing in my future.

DAY 25 - Futz and Stuf

I futzed around some with the script, adding scene headings for needed scenes, probably adding a page or two (if that counts).

I'll need to write 3 1/3 pages a day to make the deadline.

It's possible! Probable? Possible!

DAY 24 - The Tortoise

I have to remember it's the tortoise that won the race not the hare.

I've felt like I've been sleeping in my shell, head and limbs retracted.

Went to my songwriting group's open mic last night, which I'll count as an Artist's Date.

Got somewhat inspired to perform at one in the coming weeks. But then I was thinking that none of my songs are interesting enough to perform. But I know that's a lie.
I have to remember the words of Martha Graham:

"There is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique."
"It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions."

I love her quote every time I read it.

I hope to get the tortoise dancing.

Stay tuned...

DAY 23 - The Halfway Mark

So we're halfway through the 45 days.
I'm surprised and happy with what I've done so far.
My critic wants to be unhappy with what I haven't done.
He can think whatever HE wants...it's none of my business.

Today I wrote a few lines for the current play and went to Genuine Joe's and did some research on the next project.

I feel imaginary walls approaching...parts of the script that I'm unsure how I'm gonna handle. I'll try to be excited to see how my wonderful mind comes up with a solution.
I'll amaze even myself!

Today's another day...and all I have to do is today's work...I mean I get to play today. Hooray!!
I can't wait to run to my sandbox!

Hope you're all having an inspired day!!

John

Doodling

I think in our last get together that we talked a few about doodling in a medium that is different then the one that we currently use. So I went and bought a box of Crayola Oil Pastels. And played to get my mind off things. Not sure how it worked but for a short time I did feel a little like a young one drawing cartoons to get away. While it is hard on the fingers I will visit again.

DAY 22 - Everything's difficult until you start it

Wrote about two script pages today.

Should I bring out my military voice? "Okay you soft artists, your days of lazing about are over!"
"No more excuses, no more deterants... no more awwws, this is war! The enemy, being artless. The prize is NOT food, it's glory! It's showing what we're made of! We are winners, I tell ya!" "Now go on and get it in gear!" I want to hear about paint flying, words colliding on pages, music burying people, pages littered all over the floor. Hustle, Hustle, Hustle!"
Lets show the world artists aren't pansy excuse makers, but contributors to the world!"

Does that help?

DAY 21 - Confessions of a Wayward Artist

I'm not sure what's been going on but I know I haven't worked on my musical since we met last Sunday. That's a week of nothing. (Well, I did work on the idea for a second musical on one or two days but that was to avoid the current project.)

I think I have an idea what's going on - the pressure to work on it has been non-existent since last Sunday.
I had started out trying to post on the blog everyday to keep myself accountable. It became every other day, every third day, now every week.

Also, the group is TOO supportive! LOL! I feel like I could just have what I already have done at the end of the 45 days and the group would celebrate. I don't feel the social pressure to complete the task.
As you can tell, I tend to be my most productive when I'm under pressure.
"When my back is to the wall and the wall is on fire." :-)

So what's the answer?
I commit to posting on the blog everyday, even if it is to admit no progress.
I commit to having some sort of first draft on the 45th day come hell (the heat) or high water (Ike).
If I don't accomplish this, there should be some consequence- perhaps doing something I don't want to do. Something embarrassing? Something I've been putting off?
Any creative ideas? (Please pass on any you may have.)

I also just realized we're almost to the half way mark- which would be Day 22.5.

How's everybody else doing? Any thoughts on working under pressure vs. working free of pressure?

I hope you're all having an inspired day!

John

coming together

It's interesting... I was encouraged to keep going to this Artist Way group, and since i have been attending I have started my daughter's mural, and now not one but two friends I haven't had contact with for a while, have opened their doors, and one of them is coming to visit for the weekend of the Austin Film Festival!
The other will be in Northern Texas in Oct. as well. Don't know if I'll get to see them, as they will be busy with dignitaries... but am so glad they are opening the lines of communication again.
I am kayaking these days, and looking foreward to an art class in Nov.
It's amazing what can happen as you open yourself up.
Right now I feel very greatful.
Thanks.

Erin and Steven's wedding

I get paid for doing these videos, but I still consider them art. Well, film, technically, and it's in the direction I want to take, somewhat. This one I'm quite proud of, so I thought I'd post it on the blog...

Turned someone else on to AW

Chatting with a friend in England earlier, who's gone through some really difficult times lately.

I sent him a copy of AW through Amazon. It gives me such a kick whenever I send copies of it to people, as I know what a treat they're in for - so long as they actually get on with it.

I sent my sister a copy a couple of years ago, not long before she was diagnosed with brain cancer. She died before ever reading it. I swear if she'd read it it might have engaged her in some way so she might not have gone. I really do think being engaged in life is what keeps us alive.

Night rambles...4.30 am and I can't sleep.

Kayaking

Know how I mentioned kayaking? Well today my husband was like, Yes, go get the yearly pass. Good idea.
Then I asked him about my art class. He got all concerned. "This money is not just up for grabs for "whatever."
I know we each have "bucket money" budgeted from each paycheck. I know we can use that money for our own interests. I also know if I am interested in getting a daughter new dance shoes and pants, because she is outgrowing the ones from last year... it comes out of my bucket money; it's deemed a "want" instead of a need.
Mostly though, it hurt that he still treats my art like it's a privilaged hobby. Like he does his golf. Hey, if he can manage to "get out every once in a while, it's good." And he was more enthused and supportive of the kayaking idea, than the art class. Big ouch.
I know he isn't trying to hurt me. He's trying to be logical. If I'll use the kayak pass, it's a good deal. How do I show him that I use what I learn from art class when he doesn't understand art, or see any difference of "before" and "after" in my painting because it's not his thing at all?
And when will I learn not to let myself be hurt by his ignorance or lack of empathy?
One step foreward, two steps back. At least you all understand... that helps.

Lucky DAY 13 - some work done

I look forward to our meeting tomorrow. Especially since I got some work done today. Now I just need to do two weeks of morning pages, a couple of artist's dates and read chapter 3 for tomorrow.
:-)

DAY 11 - What happened to 9 & 10?

I've been picking at my script like a cake I'm not suppose to touch.

I'm not sure what I did on day 9, if anything.

Yesterday what I did was mostly reformat what I've written. I've yet to find a formatting program for musical playwriting. So I'm doing each section by hand. (ugh)

I 'fear' I'm waiting for the pressure to build as the "challenge" period nears it's end.

Technically, I should be close to a third done by our meeting on Sunday, since that will be Day 14.

We'll see...maybe the divine within me will kick my butt.


"A vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is drudgery. Vision with action can change the world."

Talking it all out.

So I outlined the screenplay, then I started telling my friend all about it: what the plot and story was, the characters, what was going to happen, etc.

"Don't tell me!", she said. "Just write it. I'll read it!. If you talk about it it takes the impetus away to actually do it"

But of course I was excited to tell her the ideas I had about the screenplay, so reluctantly she listened.

But guess what? That's exactly what's happened. I know I'm still stuck in the business of getting it right/perfect/precise that I'm not doing the actual writing - or at least haven't. I know I'm "waiting for the right mood" or something. But frankly, I find this business - talking about the problems associated with creation/non creation than I do the actual doing of it.

And that's something that has to change.

At the moment, I can't see myself completing this challenge, which is a bit of a bummer...

DAYS 6, 7 & 8 - One Out of Three

Day 6 and 7 were both unproductive, writing-wise, so I didn't post. I guess the three-day weekend got to me.

Today (Day 8) I did get some work done, thankfully.