Sunday, June 29, 2008
Digital Paintings
I know alot of tools will make a digital painting out of your photograph automatically or some sort of design using different filters. Sometimes such things are all that you are looking for. But many times they look very obvious and very mechanical. This image was done with a tool called ArtRage. It allows you to mimic your mouse movements as brush strokes creating a look that looks very much like a painting from your easel. I show the original photo and a filtered version to change it to cool colors (vs warm colors) on my old blog. Iron Buddha and the Lotus Born
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Beckett sculpture
I used to really like making sculptures.
I was never all that good, but I really liked the creation of the human face from clay, as it got closer and closer to looking like the real thing.
This is the last sculpture I did, and I never really finished it. It was never fired, and one of the ears chipped off.
But I made the mistake of videotaping the process and uploading the video for people to see, and someone described it as "crap" and I kinda took it to heart and never sculpted again.
It isn't crap entirely, I know, although it's a bit amateurish. I did it from a series of photos I found online of Samuel Beckett, and filmed the whole process of making it from a blob of clay on the armature to the way it is now.
If I can I'll find the video and post it. It was from before the days of YouTube so it may not be online any more.
I really ought to get back into sculpting again, as I found it quite rewarding. Something so nice about working with clay, and studying anatomy of the human face and form.
I should also do it to face my own self criticism. It's not perfect, but I enjoyed the process of making it, and my inner child played.
I found the videos! And - Oh, fuck...I'm wearing a sarong...
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Film, my film, my acting career and other thoughts
Hey Artist's Wayers
I thought I'd share something of my feelings and frustrations about the way my acting and film career have been going.
I've been working on a film in town called "Strings". It's written and directed by a couple of guys in their early twenties, and although it has some great production values on some levels, I've been very unhappy with a lot of the way the project's gone because I personally think the script is abysmal, the director is an immature, arrogant nitwit, the piece is naive, misogynistic and gratuitously violent, and on many levels it just irks me that I'm a part of the thing at all. But it's that old "you do whatever's there" thing: t's the best offer I had at the time, so I took it.
My real frustration, of course, is that I'm not a hugely successful actor already, commanding an appropriately huge fee for my services, and having the pick of the good films, great directors - or even just working with people I think are brilliant, unknown, but whom I admire enough to really want to work with. Having worked with these guys previously, I thought that just might have happened this time. Here are some clips from an earlier short we did together, called "The Alternate":
The Alternate was fun to do. This time, things just haven't gone as well.
That's in part why I've been trying to get it together to make a film myself: to have artistic control. To say what I want to say, tell my story, and make a great film in the process. It's possible, I know. At worst it's only very, very difficult.
But the other frustration I really want to share is that, even though I think there are massive flaws in the plot, writing and direction of "Strings", how am I going to make something better myself, and how am I going to shift my patterns of belief so that I genuinely believe I can get it all together to do so? In other words, what do I need in order to be successful in making this, my own film? What is the mindset I need to find in order to make the kind of film I really want to make: something like PT Anderson's Magnolia or Boogie Nights? These are films I consider to be intelligent, well written, well directed, original and artistically brilliant - not the violent, brainless claptrap that we have shoved in our faces day in, day out. I realise, of course, that there are stepping stones in between. I have to make shorts, then longer films, then finally a feature. If someone dropped a screenplay in my hand that did the job I'd be over the moon. Same with an acting part: as long as the film was intelligent, thought provoking and well made.
I sincerely believe the process of making even the biggest, most complex and ambitious project are exactly the same as making the lowliest one. It's just the X and the Y on either side of the equation are a bit bigger, and the equation itself is a bit more complex. It does all come down to imagining it, beginning it, working through it, then finishing it. I'm not entirely sure where my blocks have been, though, and where in the process they've been manifesting.
The other direction I could go, of course, would be to shmooze the established directors that I already like. But that's another direction, and one I have no idea how to do and am not sure entirely how to go about it. I've never been all that good at socializing with an agenda.
My "Jack's making a movie" blog can be seen here.
My "Jack the actor" blog can be seen here
I thought I'd share something of my feelings and frustrations about the way my acting and film career have been going.
I've been working on a film in town called "Strings". It's written and directed by a couple of guys in their early twenties, and although it has some great production values on some levels, I've been very unhappy with a lot of the way the project's gone because I personally think the script is abysmal, the director is an immature, arrogant nitwit, the piece is naive, misogynistic and gratuitously violent, and on many levels it just irks me that I'm a part of the thing at all. But it's that old "you do whatever's there" thing: t's the best offer I had at the time, so I took it.
My real frustration, of course, is that I'm not a hugely successful actor already, commanding an appropriately huge fee for my services, and having the pick of the good films, great directors - or even just working with people I think are brilliant, unknown, but whom I admire enough to really want to work with. Having worked with these guys previously, I thought that just might have happened this time. Here are some clips from an earlier short we did together, called "The Alternate":
The Alternate was fun to do. This time, things just haven't gone as well.
That's in part why I've been trying to get it together to make a film myself: to have artistic control. To say what I want to say, tell my story, and make a great film in the process. It's possible, I know. At worst it's only very, very difficult.
But the other frustration I really want to share is that, even though I think there are massive flaws in the plot, writing and direction of "Strings", how am I going to make something better myself, and how am I going to shift my patterns of belief so that I genuinely believe I can get it all together to do so? In other words, what do I need in order to be successful in making this, my own film? What is the mindset I need to find in order to make the kind of film I really want to make: something like PT Anderson's Magnolia or Boogie Nights? These are films I consider to be intelligent, well written, well directed, original and artistically brilliant - not the violent, brainless claptrap that we have shoved in our faces day in, day out. I realise, of course, that there are stepping stones in between. I have to make shorts, then longer films, then finally a feature. If someone dropped a screenplay in my hand that did the job I'd be over the moon. Same with an acting part: as long as the film was intelligent, thought provoking and well made.
I sincerely believe the process of making even the biggest, most complex and ambitious project are exactly the same as making the lowliest one. It's just the X and the Y on either side of the equation are a bit bigger, and the equation itself is a bit more complex. It does all come down to imagining it, beginning it, working through it, then finishing it. I'm not entirely sure where my blocks have been, though, and where in the process they've been manifesting.
The other direction I could go, of course, would be to shmooze the established directors that I already like. But that's another direction, and one I have no idea how to do and am not sure entirely how to go about it. I've never been all that good at socializing with an agenda.
My "Jack's making a movie" blog can be seen here.
My "Jack the actor" blog can be seen here
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Attack of the Gourds
Acrylic on 16"x20" canvas panel.
Something fun I did a few years ago. Didn't you ever think of pumpkins as being small planets in disguise? George Lucas, eat your heart out. : )
Namaste, Michael
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sticking my neck out....
Just thought I would throw a song or two up here once in a while; these songs are not necessarily done ... they might (in my opinion anyway) need a better vocal track, or a better keyboard track, or "real" vs fake drums... or whatever... but per Jack's suggestion in email earlier, even if these are not completely "done" songs in my mind, which my censor will invariably try to to convince me of, I am still putting them out there... my hope is that even if some of you don't care for the music that at least it will inspire you to contribute some works of your own... After all, this is a Blog for all of us!
Song: Guinnevere - piano/vocals - a simple song about a love that was lost...
Song: Men Overboard This song is roughly about how the majority of people these days are behaving like Lemmings and have stopped thinking for themselves; and how while the world around them crumbles (or the ship sinks, in this story...) sooner or later they will have to act on their own, or go down with the ship.
My Brother's Arms
A war protest song - written from the perspective of a soldier dying in battle. I was originally inspired to write this having heard a few soldiers interviewed on NPR after returning from Iraq. Their stories were both poignant and shocking. Their heroism and comradeship are no less valid even though many of them are unhappy with the reasons they were asked to serve and the fact that they disagree with our Govornment's polital and military actions throughout the world. I wanted to give them a voice, in whatever little way I could.
Song: Guinnevere - piano/vocals - a simple song about a love that was lost...
Song: Men Overboard This song is roughly about how the majority of people these days are behaving like Lemmings and have stopped thinking for themselves; and how while the world around them crumbles (or the ship sinks, in this story...) sooner or later they will have to act on their own, or go down with the ship.
My Brother's Arms
A war protest song - written from the perspective of a soldier dying in battle. I was originally inspired to write this having heard a few soldiers interviewed on NPR after returning from Iraq. Their stories were both poignant and shocking. Their heroism and comradeship are no less valid even though many of them are unhappy with the reasons they were asked to serve and the fact that they disagree with our Govornment's polital and military actions throughout the world. I wanted to give them a voice, in whatever little way I could.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
25 minute speed writing exercise (alternative to regular morning pages)
25 minute speed writing: my attempt at fiction!
RANDOM things came to John as his plane touched down for the first time. It was a hot day, and the airport wasn't all that busy in Texas. She wasn't with him today - she was at the mall, shopping again, and probably spending more of his money.
It had all been a lot easier since the win. There was plenty now: money to spend on the kinds of things he'd never had before. Cars, toys, a new home, and the aeroplane. He'd been taking lessons from The Texan for three months now. It didn't really bother him too much that he was being ripped off. He knew the man had problems, and he was helping him out in his own way.
WHat bothered him was the was she treated him. He knew in the back of his mind that she only wanted him for his money. She was a gold digger. That was as plain as day. But he always fell for them. It was the weakness he fell for. The emotional neediness. Like he was some kind of rescuer or something.
She'd worked on and off in bars, lap dancing most of the time, occasionally turning tricks for the wealthier punters. She's been married a couple of times, and had a kid. The kid was Ok. Just about ten, and already seeing what her mother was. The glances of embarrassment told him that she'd been there before with her mother. She wouldn't be going down that road, he thought.
It reminded him of the way he used to be with his own father. How many times had he actually looked the man in the eyes, and seen what was going on there, deep down? Twice, in his whole life? His own father was a boozer, too. Whisky.
She drank Tequila. Mostly Margueritas, but she'd always get to shots by the end of the evening.
She'd been married just the once. Sally wasn't her husband's child. Her dad was a long way off. Just a one night stand, that left the next day. She never saw him again, and Sally never asked.
He taxied the plane to the parking bay, and silently congratulated himself on a good landing. There had been some heavy crosswinds, and this was the first time he'd landed on instruments alone. He was determined to make the most of his money, he knew. Sure, he'd been through seventy five grand in just over three months, but he was having fun. And he had plenty left.
He'd always wanted to fly. Not enough to actually work and save the money to do it. He'd had a couple of friends who flew and, having had the chance to fly himself now and then, he knew it was fun but could get tedious like anything else. There was still a lot of paperwork, a lot of planning, and it was hardly like it must have been in the days before beacons and air lanes and the sky full of traffic like it is now.
The phone rang. It was her, calling from another store and wanting a credit line increase.
"What's it for, baby?" he said.
""Honey, I seen a beautiful coat here on sale, and it's a bargain!" You'll love it, baby.
He actually hated it when she called him "baby". Something reminded him of tacky songs about sad drunks and, if he was really honest about her, that's exactly what she was.
Some part of him knew deep down inside that he wasn't really satisfied with the way things had turned out. I mean, sixteen million dollars is a lot of money, but it's true when they say it doesn't bring happiness, he thought. He'd bought so many toys, and it galled him that he still didn't use any of them to any real degree. There was the pool that he intended to swim in every day, but had used six times. There was the drum kit, which again was some fantasy he had about playing in a band. Was he likely to? And come on, was he really going to fly solo around the world? Did he really think he could do it?
Winning the money was a curse, he thought to himself. This woman was no real friend to him, let alone a good lover. She was using him, and he knew it. He was a weak man, and didn't have the balls to admit he had nothing to really offer anyone. How many good women had passed through his arms over the years, but he thought he knew what he wanted.
A crackle came through the radio as the air traffic controller squawked the last few words to The Texan. It seemed there was a bit of a joke going on. They'd had this kind of guy before, it was plain. This kind of guy who needed to show off a bit.
The world was full of them.
RANDOM things came to John as his plane touched down for the first time. It was a hot day, and the airport wasn't all that busy in Texas. She wasn't with him today - she was at the mall, shopping again, and probably spending more of his money.
It had all been a lot easier since the win. There was plenty now: money to spend on the kinds of things he'd never had before. Cars, toys, a new home, and the aeroplane. He'd been taking lessons from The Texan for three months now. It didn't really bother him too much that he was being ripped off. He knew the man had problems, and he was helping him out in his own way.
WHat bothered him was the was she treated him. He knew in the back of his mind that she only wanted him for his money. She was a gold digger. That was as plain as day. But he always fell for them. It was the weakness he fell for. The emotional neediness. Like he was some kind of rescuer or something.
She'd worked on and off in bars, lap dancing most of the time, occasionally turning tricks for the wealthier punters. She's been married a couple of times, and had a kid. The kid was Ok. Just about ten, and already seeing what her mother was. The glances of embarrassment told him that she'd been there before with her mother. She wouldn't be going down that road, he thought.
It reminded him of the way he used to be with his own father. How many times had he actually looked the man in the eyes, and seen what was going on there, deep down? Twice, in his whole life? His own father was a boozer, too. Whisky.
She drank Tequila. Mostly Margueritas, but she'd always get to shots by the end of the evening.
She'd been married just the once. Sally wasn't her husband's child. Her dad was a long way off. Just a one night stand, that left the next day. She never saw him again, and Sally never asked.
He taxied the plane to the parking bay, and silently congratulated himself on a good landing. There had been some heavy crosswinds, and this was the first time he'd landed on instruments alone. He was determined to make the most of his money, he knew. Sure, he'd been through seventy five grand in just over three months, but he was having fun. And he had plenty left.
He'd always wanted to fly. Not enough to actually work and save the money to do it. He'd had a couple of friends who flew and, having had the chance to fly himself now and then, he knew it was fun but could get tedious like anything else. There was still a lot of paperwork, a lot of planning, and it was hardly like it must have been in the days before beacons and air lanes and the sky full of traffic like it is now.
The phone rang. It was her, calling from another store and wanting a credit line increase.
"What's it for, baby?" he said.
""Honey, I seen a beautiful coat here on sale, and it's a bargain!" You'll love it, baby.
He actually hated it when she called him "baby". Something reminded him of tacky songs about sad drunks and, if he was really honest about her, that's exactly what she was.
Some part of him knew deep down inside that he wasn't really satisfied with the way things had turned out. I mean, sixteen million dollars is a lot of money, but it's true when they say it doesn't bring happiness, he thought. He'd bought so many toys, and it galled him that he still didn't use any of them to any real degree. There was the pool that he intended to swim in every day, but had used six times. There was the drum kit, which again was some fantasy he had about playing in a band. Was he likely to? And come on, was he really going to fly solo around the world? Did he really think he could do it?
Winning the money was a curse, he thought to himself. This woman was no real friend to him, let alone a good lover. She was using him, and he knew it. He was a weak man, and didn't have the balls to admit he had nothing to really offer anyone. How many good women had passed through his arms over the years, but he thought he knew what he wanted.
A crackle came through the radio as the air traffic controller squawked the last few words to The Texan. It seemed there was a bit of a joke going on. They'd had this kind of guy before, it was plain. This kind of guy who needed to show off a bit.
The world was full of them.
Working with Your Censor
Thanks to all who attended our last meetup, exploration of the censor! We had a great conversation and show-n-tell around that pesty critter, aka "The Censor" in Artist Way lingo.
For those of you who couldn't attend, I wish I could share the experience with you. For a taste, you may want to check out Jack's video on the Artist Way blog:
http://austinartistsway.blogspot.com/2008/06/jack-censor.html
A few of you asked the question: How do I work with my censor? Here are a few things that have helped me and others:
1. Morning Pages - Julia Cameron writes: "The Morning Pages are the primary tool of creative recovery. As blocked artists, we tend to criticize ourselves mercilessly. Even if we look like functioning artists to the world, we feel we never do enough and what we do isn't right. We are victims of our own internalized perfectionist, a nasty internal and external critic, the Censor, who resides in our (left) brain and keeps up a constant stream of subersive remarks often disguised as the truth.. "The point is to stop taking the Censor as the voice of reason and learn to hear it as the blocking device that it is. Morning pages will help you to do this? Never skip or skimp on the morning pages. Your mood doesn't matter. The rotten thing your Censor says doesn't matter. We have this idea that we need to be in the mood to write. We don't."
2. Awareness and Compassion - When we become familiar with our censor's message, we can take positive action to explore a different and more powerful way of being. If your censor says you can't do something, the most powerful statement you can make is to do it anyway. Of course, the censor will judge the process and results. Great compassion is required to continue.Besides the Artist Way, there are many wonderful resources available to gain awareness and compassion:
* Friendship / Fellowship - We often see others much more clearly than we see ourselves. Together, we can remind each other who we really are.
* Being in Nature - After I take a slow walk in the park, I feel much more grounded and connected to my heart. When I'm in this state, it's a lot easier to be with myself - and even my censor!
* The Work by Byron Katie - Byron Katie has a simple process that allows you to question any belief that makes you unhappy. For more information, check out http://www.thework.com/index.asp. There are many free materials on the site - including a free help line.Of course, there are many other great self-help resources. I encourage you to explore whatever works for you. I especially like Byron Katie's work because the first step in her process is to ask if your belief is "absolutely" true. Very few beliefs are, especially those of the censor!
3. Movement / Exercise - For some folks, it's harder to get stuck in the censor's world when you're in motion. Roy runs. Cynthia and Elaine do yoga. I dance.
In Julia Cameron's later book, Walking in This World, she recommends walking at least once a week for 20 minutes - in additon to morning pages and artist dates.
4. Imagination Exercises - David talked about an exercise he did after finishing the letter from his censor that released negative energy - energy that made him feel sick when he originally wrote it. If David had not done this exercise before our meetup, he might have read the letter in a different way. In turn, we may might have reacted to his process in a different way. For some of us, David's raw words seemed very familiar - and yet absurd and funny. Could it be that he opened new possibilities for experiencing his censor through the magic of imagination? Muriel talked about an imagination exercise she did that helped her to acknowledge and experience more compassion for her censors.
5. Heartfelt Humor - The censor is often put in its proper place by humor from the heart. Shiela's costume, for example, touched a funny and playful place. I added a psycho kitty to my collage (since I find some of the nastiest aspects within myself and others are injured inner children running amok).
6. Energetic / Emotional Support - A friend of mine says emotions are just energy-in-motion. Although working with the censor can be a mind game, it may require some energetic/emotional support at times - depending on your sensitivity.
If you haven't reviewed the Artist Way contract on page 23, you may want to do so. The "standard contract" has a commitment to "excellent self-care - adequate sleep, diet, exercise, and pampering - for the duration of the course."
My favorite tool is to scan my body for stuck energy after I wake up in the morning. When I do this, some blocks disolve automatically and my thinking becomes more open and less critical. Even my eyesight improves! The world literally looks lighter and brighter!
Sometimes prayer, meditation, chanting, or reading inspiration can be powerful tools when dealing with challenging emotions. Counseling can be very helpful too. Every so often, we may even need remedies to restore balance and get back on track.
Everyone of us is so unique. Only you can know what works for you.
If any of you have any other tools or techniques you'd like to share, please add them to this message.
Thanks so much!
Ann
For those of you who couldn't attend, I wish I could share the experience with you. For a taste, you may want to check out Jack's video on the Artist Way blog:
http://austinartistsway.blogspot.com/2008/06/jack-censor.html
A few of you asked the question: How do I work with my censor? Here are a few things that have helped me and others:
1. Morning Pages - Julia Cameron writes: "The Morning Pages are the primary tool of creative recovery. As blocked artists, we tend to criticize ourselves mercilessly. Even if we look like functioning artists to the world, we feel we never do enough and what we do isn't right. We are victims of our own internalized perfectionist, a nasty internal and external critic, the Censor, who resides in our (left) brain and keeps up a constant stream of subersive remarks often disguised as the truth.. "The point is to stop taking the Censor as the voice of reason and learn to hear it as the blocking device that it is. Morning pages will help you to do this? Never skip or skimp on the morning pages. Your mood doesn't matter. The rotten thing your Censor says doesn't matter. We have this idea that we need to be in the mood to write. We don't."
2. Awareness and Compassion - When we become familiar with our censor's message, we can take positive action to explore a different and more powerful way of being. If your censor says you can't do something, the most powerful statement you can make is to do it anyway. Of course, the censor will judge the process and results. Great compassion is required to continue.Besides the Artist Way, there are many wonderful resources available to gain awareness and compassion:
* Friendship / Fellowship - We often see others much more clearly than we see ourselves. Together, we can remind each other who we really are.
* Being in Nature - After I take a slow walk in the park, I feel much more grounded and connected to my heart. When I'm in this state, it's a lot easier to be with myself - and even my censor!
* The Work by Byron Katie - Byron Katie has a simple process that allows you to question any belief that makes you unhappy. For more information, check out http://www.thework.com/index.asp. There are many free materials on the site - including a free help line.Of course, there are many other great self-help resources. I encourage you to explore whatever works for you. I especially like Byron Katie's work because the first step in her process is to ask if your belief is "absolutely" true. Very few beliefs are, especially those of the censor!
3. Movement / Exercise - For some folks, it's harder to get stuck in the censor's world when you're in motion. Roy runs. Cynthia and Elaine do yoga. I dance.
In Julia Cameron's later book, Walking in This World, she recommends walking at least once a week for 20 minutes - in additon to morning pages and artist dates.
4. Imagination Exercises - David talked about an exercise he did after finishing the letter from his censor that released negative energy - energy that made him feel sick when he originally wrote it. If David had not done this exercise before our meetup, he might have read the letter in a different way. In turn, we may might have reacted to his process in a different way. For some of us, David's raw words seemed very familiar - and yet absurd and funny. Could it be that he opened new possibilities for experiencing his censor through the magic of imagination? Muriel talked about an imagination exercise she did that helped her to acknowledge and experience more compassion for her censors.
5. Heartfelt Humor - The censor is often put in its proper place by humor from the heart. Shiela's costume, for example, touched a funny and playful place. I added a psycho kitty to my collage (since I find some of the nastiest aspects within myself and others are injured inner children running amok).
6. Energetic / Emotional Support - A friend of mine says emotions are just energy-in-motion. Although working with the censor can be a mind game, it may require some energetic/emotional support at times - depending on your sensitivity.
If you haven't reviewed the Artist Way contract on page 23, you may want to do so. The "standard contract" has a commitment to "excellent self-care - adequate sleep, diet, exercise, and pampering - for the duration of the course."
My favorite tool is to scan my body for stuck energy after I wake up in the morning. When I do this, some blocks disolve automatically and my thinking becomes more open and less critical. Even my eyesight improves! The world literally looks lighter and brighter!
Sometimes prayer, meditation, chanting, or reading inspiration can be powerful tools when dealing with challenging emotions. Counseling can be very helpful too. Every so often, we may even need remedies to restore balance and get back on track.
Everyone of us is so unique. Only you can know what works for you.
If any of you have any other tools or techniques you'd like to share, please add them to this message.
Thanks so much!
Ann
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The start of Jack's "Real Men" documentary and blog
The blog can be seen here.
Just researching to find people to interview.
In the mean time, the blog will play a part in the process of creating the documentary.
Just researching to find people to interview.
In the mean time, the blog will play a part in the process of creating the documentary.
Monday, June 16, 2008
"Roles" rear cover
I made this album cover for an intended album a couple of years ago.
The idea is there: to make a bunch of songs about the roles we play in life. Based loosely on Shakespeare's "Seven ages of man" soliloquy, I made the titles and even the lengths of the tracks. Bizarrely, I wrote the titles and even the times of the tracks...
What I didn't do yet, however is write the songs nor even compose anything like melodies. Not even one full lyric is written.
I know what I want to say. I just haven't found a way - yet - to put anything into words.
I've now acquired my MIDI keyboard/computer interface, and some excellent recording software.
I'm chickshit about actually making songs, though, as I really don't think it's something I'm capable of.
I did intend in a previous Artists Way group to actually write this album and record it. Just a really bad album - not intend to do anything I could say I was proud of - just do any old shit to help break through the writing block.
So part of my process during the time of THIS artists way group is to write and record this album. It will likely be absolute CRAP.
But it WILL be a start!
Incidentally, the pictures represent the Seven Ages of Man
I'll write the (bad!) lyrics here, so you can all see how it turns out!
I'll make a quick video of the soliloquy so you know what it is.
People: Please, please, please use this blog! I really urge you to write on it, add your pictures, art, photos, links to things you like or love, or add video, sound files, music or thoughts. I tend to be a bit prolific, but don't want to feel I'm dominating the blog, or scaring people off using it. I can promise you that everyone feels the same about their artistic progress and/or abilities. I've been doing AW some time now, and it really is about plunging into the fray, and doing whatever comes up.
If nobody else posts I'll get all self conscious, I know, and feel silly for doing it all on my own!
Anyway, here's my first attempt at writing a lyric for the first track. It's fucking awful.
But that's not the point. That's why we're here...
All the world's a stage
Said the man of a thousand words
And seven times we live our lives
then we're fodder for the worms
We come into the world alone
and die that way as well
Everything that's in between
Is who knows what the hell?
We scream and cry as babies asking what its all about
and we learn to smile and play the fool and love and scream and pout
Everything's performance, if we really face the truth
We learn that much as children, and we're set by it in youth.
Show me the child at seven, and I'll show you the man.
Show me the child at seven, and I'll show you the man.
Is this the way to heaven? I will do what I can.
Then we see there's something that's outside of ourself
Touching other hearts and we see ourself
Looking inside, looking outside, I haven't got a clue
The mystery it deepens as I look inside of you.
Fear and pain and separation come again so soon
as I turn and see a darkness that I didn't think
OH FUCK IT THIS IS SUCH CRAP!
BUT!!!! I'm breaking through the barriers, I know. Writing lyrics is plainly not my forte. But then neither was drawing once, but I found out how to do it, having read "Drawing on the other side of the brain" by Betty Edwards.
But this has been my first (abysmal) attempt at writing the first lyric.
I'm proud of myself for having tried! AND THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.
The idea is there: to make a bunch of songs about the roles we play in life. Based loosely on Shakespeare's "Seven ages of man" soliloquy, I made the titles and even the lengths of the tracks. Bizarrely, I wrote the titles and even the times of the tracks...
What I didn't do yet, however is write the songs nor even compose anything like melodies. Not even one full lyric is written.
I know what I want to say. I just haven't found a way - yet - to put anything into words.
I've now acquired my MIDI keyboard/computer interface, and some excellent recording software.
I'm chickshit about actually making songs, though, as I really don't think it's something I'm capable of.
I did intend in a previous Artists Way group to actually write this album and record it. Just a really bad album - not intend to do anything I could say I was proud of - just do any old shit to help break through the writing block.
So part of my process during the time of THIS artists way group is to write and record this album. It will likely be absolute CRAP.
But it WILL be a start!
Incidentally, the pictures represent the Seven Ages of Man
I'll write the (bad!) lyrics here, so you can all see how it turns out!
I'll make a quick video of the soliloquy so you know what it is.
People: Please, please, please use this blog! I really urge you to write on it, add your pictures, art, photos, links to things you like or love, or add video, sound files, music or thoughts. I tend to be a bit prolific, but don't want to feel I'm dominating the blog, or scaring people off using it. I can promise you that everyone feels the same about their artistic progress and/or abilities. I've been doing AW some time now, and it really is about plunging into the fray, and doing whatever comes up.
If nobody else posts I'll get all self conscious, I know, and feel silly for doing it all on my own!
Anyway, here's my first attempt at writing a lyric for the first track. It's fucking awful.
But that's not the point. That's why we're here...
All the world's a stage
Said the man of a thousand words
And seven times we live our lives
then we're fodder for the worms
We come into the world alone
and die that way as well
Everything that's in between
Is who knows what the hell?
We scream and cry as babies asking what its all about
and we learn to smile and play the fool and love and scream and pout
Everything's performance, if we really face the truth
We learn that much as children, and we're set by it in youth.
Show me the child at seven, and I'll show you the man.
Show me the child at seven, and I'll show you the man.
Is this the way to heaven? I will do what I can.
Then we see there's something that's outside of ourself
Touching other hearts and we see ourself
Looking inside, looking outside, I haven't got a clue
The mystery it deepens as I look inside of you.
Fear and pain and separation come again so soon
as I turn and see a darkness that I didn't think
OH FUCK IT THIS IS SUCH CRAP!
BUT!!!! I'm breaking through the barriers, I know. Writing lyrics is plainly not my forte. But then neither was drawing once, but I found out how to do it, having read "Drawing on the other side of the brain" by Betty Edwards.
But this has been my first (abysmal) attempt at writing the first lyric.
I'm proud of myself for having tried! AND THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Muses II
This is a short documentary I made of a group of actors doing something called "Muses". The performance was last night in Austin, and runs for the next couple of weekends.
Epiphany
I'm having a little epiphany about my creativity.
I'm just editing a video I made last night of a performance I filmed last night of some actors in something called "Muses" and my critical mind is telling me what's wrong with the performances, direction, my shooting skills and so forth, and I notice I'm imagining myself doing better, getting it "right", and some magical end result that's perfect, sublime and magnificent - but without going through the process of learning and fucking up.
Learning and fucking up are so part of the process of creativity, and they're aspects of it that I've really not wanted to deal with. And so it's led my overcritical self to never really explore the creative process the way I need to.
It's as though I've wanted to "hit the bullseye" without ever allowing myself to get good enough to do so.
It's so healthy to make crap, and make mistakes, and try your best but fail. That's the only way forward. Only by doing so can I really have any chance of making something that's good.
Much of the time, if I'm really honest, the best work has come purely by accident, when some kind of synchronicity happens that leads to it.
"Perfect" really is a lie. And it's an addictive lie.
I don't think there's anyone, at any point in their creative career, that they can say they consistently produce brilliant work. Even the most successful, famous, much-loved, original and brilliant artists fuck up and produce mediocre or even bad work after years doing what they do - whether they're actors, artists, writers or whatever.
That gives me hope.
I'm just editing a video I made last night of a performance I filmed last night of some actors in something called "Muses" and my critical mind is telling me what's wrong with the performances, direction, my shooting skills and so forth, and I notice I'm imagining myself doing better, getting it "right", and some magical end result that's perfect, sublime and magnificent - but without going through the process of learning and fucking up.
Learning and fucking up are so part of the process of creativity, and they're aspects of it that I've really not wanted to deal with. And so it's led my overcritical self to never really explore the creative process the way I need to.
It's as though I've wanted to "hit the bullseye" without ever allowing myself to get good enough to do so.
It's so healthy to make crap, and make mistakes, and try your best but fail. That's the only way forward. Only by doing so can I really have any chance of making something that's good.
Much of the time, if I'm really honest, the best work has come purely by accident, when some kind of synchronicity happens that leads to it.
"Perfect" really is a lie. And it's an addictive lie.
I don't think there's anyone, at any point in their creative career, that they can say they consistently produce brilliant work. Even the most successful, famous, much-loved, original and brilliant artists fuck up and produce mediocre or even bad work after years doing what they do - whether they're actors, artists, writers or whatever.
That gives me hope.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Artist Dates?
Hi Artist Way'ers,'
Have you started doing your Artist Dates yet? I often find Artist Dates the easiest to blow off; however, they're an important part in reconnecting to your inner child / inner muse.
What makes a good Artist Date? It's different for each person. For some, it's looking at other folks' art or even tackling an art project. For others, it can be exciting adventure. For me, it's something that pampers my inner child or fills me with laughter (Stephen Colbert definitely makes my inner child spark!).
I have a career coach who believes "the ego" is nothing more than an unhappy inner child. If we can hear our inner child and constructively attend to its needs, he or she will become peaceful and happy. If we ignore our inner child, he or she can become afraid, angry, blue, depressed, and so on.
If we did not receive good parenting in childhood, proper care of feeding of our inner child can become a lost art. I believe this is the real message in the Artist Way - not how to create art, but how to care and inspire our inner child or muse. When it's happy, creativity happens!
For this week's Artist Date, I was stumped for ideas, so I flipped through one of my favorite magazine (The Chronicle) and clipped out several weeks of potential dates. One of them was cutting lavender at a farm about 15 minutes from South Austin:http://austin.craigslist.org/eve/710320811.html
At first, it was a bit boring. But as I gathered more flowers, the scent and repetitive motion lulled me into a luscious, meditative state. By the time I drove away, I was definitely in "the flow."
For next week's Artist Date, I may try to rent The Muse, a movie staring Albert Brooks and Sharon Stone. Here's a brief synopsis:
Albert Brooks is Steven Phillips, a veteran screenwriter of 17 films who is told he has lost his edge. A fellow writer with a string of successes under his belt (Jeff Bridges) refers Phillips to Sarah (Sharon Stone), a professional muse (see Greek mythology). In exchange for the royal treatment and a showering of expensive gifts, she will grace writers with her presence, which seems to magically spark profitable ideas from the client's mind. Is her power real or is it all in her clients' heads? Why does Jack's wife develop a delicious and profitable cookie recipe in Sarah's company?
I saw this movie when it first came out about 10 years ago. At that time, I didn?t see the connection to Artist Way (because I had done the process only once by then). But now, I?m curious. How do you care and feed a muse? :)
If you have any recommendations for Artist Dates, please feel free to respond to this message!
Thanks so much,
Ann
Have you started doing your Artist Dates yet? I often find Artist Dates the easiest to blow off; however, they're an important part in reconnecting to your inner child / inner muse.
What makes a good Artist Date? It's different for each person. For some, it's looking at other folks' art or even tackling an art project. For others, it can be exciting adventure. For me, it's something that pampers my inner child or fills me with laughter (Stephen Colbert definitely makes my inner child spark!).
I have a career coach who believes "the ego" is nothing more than an unhappy inner child. If we can hear our inner child and constructively attend to its needs, he or she will become peaceful and happy. If we ignore our inner child, he or she can become afraid, angry, blue, depressed, and so on.
If we did not receive good parenting in childhood, proper care of feeding of our inner child can become a lost art. I believe this is the real message in the Artist Way - not how to create art, but how to care and inspire our inner child or muse. When it's happy, creativity happens!
For this week's Artist Date, I was stumped for ideas, so I flipped through one of my favorite magazine (The Chronicle) and clipped out several weeks of potential dates. One of them was cutting lavender at a farm about 15 minutes from South Austin:http://austin.craigslist.org/eve/710320811.html
At first, it was a bit boring. But as I gathered more flowers, the scent and repetitive motion lulled me into a luscious, meditative state. By the time I drove away, I was definitely in "the flow."
For next week's Artist Date, I may try to rent The Muse, a movie staring Albert Brooks and Sharon Stone. Here's a brief synopsis:
Albert Brooks is Steven Phillips, a veteran screenwriter of 17 films who is told he has lost his edge. A fellow writer with a string of successes under his belt (Jeff Bridges) refers Phillips to Sarah (Sharon Stone), a professional muse (see Greek mythology). In exchange for the royal treatment and a showering of expensive gifts, she will grace writers with her presence, which seems to magically spark profitable ideas from the client's mind. Is her power real or is it all in her clients' heads? Why does Jack's wife develop a delicious and profitable cookie recipe in Sarah's company?
I saw this movie when it first came out about 10 years ago. At that time, I didn?t see the connection to Artist Way (because I had done the process only once by then). But now, I?m curious. How do you care and feed a muse? :)
If you have any recommendations for Artist Dates, please feel free to respond to this message!
Thanks so much,
Ann
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Jack's censor
Jack's censor
Video sent by synchronicity
Little project for the Artist's Way meetup.
It's my censor: the person (or internal voices) that criticize me and what I do.
You just can't win, can you?
Monday, June 2, 2008
Artist Way News
Hi Artist Way'ers,
Thanks to everyone who attended yesterday's discussion group. What an amazing group! I look forward to delving into the Artist Way with you!
If you couldn't make yesterday's meetup, no problem. It's never too late to join the group.Below are some tidbits from yesterday?s meeting...
* Collaborative Spirit *
I've been doing the Artist Way in groups on-and-off over the last few years. I was surprised to experience such a strong collaborative energy at yesterday's meeting. It's very exciting! Jack said it reminded him of the Bloomsbury Group. For more information on the Bloomsbury Group, check out the link at the start of this blog.
Special thanks to Jack for creating this blog! If you would like to add to this blog, please send me your e-mail address so I can add you as contributor.
Also, it was exciting seeing Cynthia, Roy, and Elaine talking about interior design and simplicity!
Finally, a few of us hung out after the meetup and decided to launch a little business called Suburban Bohemia. Our first project will be to create a calendar called "White Trash Haiku" with David's poetry and pics of my Wonder Bread paintings. As we said finished our first "business meeting" at 11 PM in the parking lot , Jack spotted a shooting star - a very good omen, indeed!
* Supporting Your Process*
Another new development is the group's wish to provide better support to members in need. The Artist Way is a bit like soul archeology. It sometimes digs up buried stuff from the past. When this stuff comes up for healing, it can be a bit uncomfortable at times.
If you would like support from another member, just send a message out to the group asking if anyone has some time to talk. For those of you who are available to help, please send an e-mail through the site to the person in need and provide your phone number.
If you would like support from others, please setup your account to allow e-mails from members of this meetup. If you wish to be an angel to others, please setup your account to distribute messages as they are sent (rather than at the end of the day). This way you can provide timely support if you?re available.
* Next Steps *
Intrigued by the process? Want to take the next step? Here?s what we recommend:
1. Buy the 10th edition of the book (it you don?t have a copy).
2. Read the stuff before the chapter entitled Week 1.
3. Start your morning pages, which are discussed in the reading.
4. Do an artist date once a week, which are discussed in the reading.
5. Note how you?re feeling about the process. It?s OK if you find them uncomfortable or dull. That?s not usual. The most important thing is to observe your reaction to the process.
* Our Next Meetup *
I look forward to meeting with you on 6/15. Our focus will be "Exploring Your Censor." If possible, please bring a picture, drawing, collage, sculpture, or symbol of your "censor." For more information on the censor, please see pages 11-13.
When I organized the Artist Way Meetup in Arizona, this was a popular exercise. Some people brought in pictures of critical parents or teachers. Others collaged images and words from their inner censor. One Art Therapist even sculpted a model of his experience with his inner censor.
I've done everything from bring in my checkbook (symbolizing my financial fears), to a quick collage of my childhood censor, to more elaborate concept pieces. Let your time and creative whims guide your involvement with this task. Some folks explore really dark images and words. Others kind of poke fun at their censor. Whatever you do and bring is fine. Most folks find it quite transformational!
For more information on this event, please try this link: http://artistsway.meetup.com/217/calendar/7876555/
Thanks so much!
Ann
Thanks to everyone who attended yesterday's discussion group. What an amazing group! I look forward to delving into the Artist Way with you!
If you couldn't make yesterday's meetup, no problem. It's never too late to join the group.Below are some tidbits from yesterday?s meeting...
* Collaborative Spirit *
I've been doing the Artist Way in groups on-and-off over the last few years. I was surprised to experience such a strong collaborative energy at yesterday's meeting. It's very exciting! Jack said it reminded him of the Bloomsbury Group. For more information on the Bloomsbury Group, check out the link at the start of this blog.
Special thanks to Jack for creating this blog! If you would like to add to this blog, please send me your e-mail address so I can add you as contributor.
Also, it was exciting seeing Cynthia, Roy, and Elaine talking about interior design and simplicity!
Finally, a few of us hung out after the meetup and decided to launch a little business called Suburban Bohemia. Our first project will be to create a calendar called "White Trash Haiku" with David's poetry and pics of my Wonder Bread paintings. As we said finished our first "business meeting" at 11 PM in the parking lot , Jack spotted a shooting star - a very good omen, indeed!
* Supporting Your Process*
Another new development is the group's wish to provide better support to members in need. The Artist Way is a bit like soul archeology. It sometimes digs up buried stuff from the past. When this stuff comes up for healing, it can be a bit uncomfortable at times.
If you would like support from another member, just send a message out to the group asking if anyone has some time to talk. For those of you who are available to help, please send an e-mail through the site to the person in need and provide your phone number.
If you would like support from others, please setup your account to allow e-mails from members of this meetup. If you wish to be an angel to others, please setup your account to distribute messages as they are sent (rather than at the end of the day). This way you can provide timely support if you?re available.
* Next Steps *
Intrigued by the process? Want to take the next step? Here?s what we recommend:
1. Buy the 10th edition of the book (it you don?t have a copy).
2. Read the stuff before the chapter entitled Week 1.
3. Start your morning pages, which are discussed in the reading.
4. Do an artist date once a week, which are discussed in the reading.
5. Note how you?re feeling about the process. It?s OK if you find them uncomfortable or dull. That?s not usual. The most important thing is to observe your reaction to the process.
* Our Next Meetup *
I look forward to meeting with you on 6/15. Our focus will be "Exploring Your Censor." If possible, please bring a picture, drawing, collage, sculpture, or symbol of your "censor." For more information on the censor, please see pages 11-13.
When I organized the Artist Way Meetup in Arizona, this was a popular exercise. Some people brought in pictures of critical parents or teachers. Others collaged images and words from their inner censor. One Art Therapist even sculpted a model of his experience with his inner censor.
I've done everything from bring in my checkbook (symbolizing my financial fears), to a quick collage of my childhood censor, to more elaborate concept pieces. Let your time and creative whims guide your involvement with this task. Some folks explore really dark images and words. Others kind of poke fun at their censor. Whatever you do and bring is fine. Most folks find it quite transformational!
For more information on this event, please try this link: http://artistsway.meetup.com/217/calendar/7876555/
Thanks so much!
Ann
And this is how easy it is to upload a video here...
And this is it! This is how easy creativity is...
First meeting of The Artists Way group, Austin
What an excellent group of incredibly creative people!
This blog is now open to anyone in the group who wants to write here, or add photos, videos, or any other media.
And here's a photo of the four of us who stayed on till after 11 pm...
Really looking forward to the next meet in two weeks time.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
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